No, Yesterday’s Post Wasn’t A “Humble Brag” & Other Thoughts
Yesterday I wrote a post titled I Fear I Am Addicted To Travel & That Isn’t A Good Thing. Most of the response was overall positive and we had a lot of discussion about it. The best thing about it was that I realized I am not alone in this feeling. I also hope others realized they are not alone in feeling similar things as well.
There of course was a little bit of negativity surrounding the post, especially on Facebook – ah the joys of social media! So I wanted to address some of those comments and share some of the better reader comments that I saw as well. To be honest most of them were awesome but I picked out a few to share. I also feel kind of how I did with the why I will never travel to the Maldives post and its follow up post. I think the comments and discussion helped me clarify my points just like it happened with those two posts.
Negative Comments
First off I wanted to address some of the negative comments I saw and respond to them.
Humble Brag
The first one went along the lines that the post was simply a humble brag. To be honest I feared it may come across this way since I am blessed to be able to travel a lot. I think anyone that reads the site knows that isn’t how I am and that the post came from a good place. I was trying to be honest and share some of my worries that are usually swept under the rug in this hobby. If it didn’t come across that way then I apologize for that but it was intended to spark a discussion about the dark side of travel.
Endangering Others
The other one I wanted to address was on that caught me off guard. Someone on Facebook said they wouldn’t want to be on the road with me while driving a rental car when exhausted. I honestly have no idea where it came from but maybe others read it that way too? There was a follow up comment that I could be putting my kids in danger driving while exhausted. When I said I was exhausted I meant at the end of the day when you get home and you are beat. I am not going through my day to day motions half asleep and to be honest I avoid renting cars as much as possible. Travel leads to fatigue and stress from time changes, dehydration and cramming a lot into a short period. But it has never gotten to the point I couldn’t fully function.
Disagreeing With Someone Is Not Attacking Them
Lastly I wanted to comment about a trend that I have noticed. I often ask for discussion and comments. But just because you comment doesn’t mean I won’t respond to your thoughts. That will happen whether I agree with them or not. And if I disagree I will share with you why I disagree. It is called a debate. I will never attack you personally because that is not what we are looking for and I would expect the same courtesy. Offering a differing viewpoint or debating your point is not attacking you, it is debating you. If you want to leave your opinion but don’t expect a response then why leave it in the first place? Debate leads to better understanding and personal growth. It shows differing viewpoints. I am ashamed to say that doesn’t seem to be the way of the world any longer.
Sharing Other’s Comments
Here are some comments that I thought were pretty great and I wanted to share them with you.
Up first is Jeff’s comment that talks about the other costs associated with travel:
Jenn with some great insights:
Lynn talking about losing some of the joy that she used to have:
Nichole talking about using our skill set which can be good and bad:
Shawna also bringing up how sometimes we find ourselves dreading even amazing trips:
Thank you for all of the great comments everyone. I encourage you to read everyone’s on the original post. All of them are great even the negative ones 😁.
Clarifying My Point
After writing about this subject and discussing it with many others what does it boil down to? I think Jenn said it best, it is accepting that just because we CAN do something does not mean we HAVE to.
There are many times I look at the calendar and see an open weekend and think to myself, I should be going somewhere. Why would I spend a perfectly good weekend at home when I could take the kids to Florida to see my parents etc? But let me tell you that is is OKAY to just stay at home.
FOMO
I think we often create FOMO in this hobby. With the Facebook Groups and private chat channels etc. plus meet ups we are always sharing our amazing trips. And that is awesome, I love that, but I think it creates longing, FOMO and overall jealousy as well. One example is that I think people will sometimes take longer flights simply to fly products they have not flown before to try to fit in. They will also stay in less convenient hotels because it is where “everyone” stays etc. There is an undercurrent of one upping each other in this hobby. I don’t think it comes from a bad place but it is there. We count how many different business class products we have flown and how many countries we have visited etc.
Do What Makes You Happy
I am here to tell you WHO CARES! It is okay to do you. Go where you want, see what you want, travel how you want to travel. If others judge you for it that is on them. If you want to stay home for 3 months then do it! Don’t be afraid to go back to the same place 3-4 times if it makes you happy. Most importantly we can’t let our lust for experiences drive our decisions. It is okay to step back and enjoy the simple things too.
That is what I am fighting for myself. There is joy in simplicity just like there is joy in seeing the extraordinary. I am searching for that balance and I hope that I am able to find it. Admitting that I need to work on it is the first step.
Final Thoughts
I don’t know if this made my points clearer or more convoluted but I hope it is the former. If you take nothing else away from this post I will reiterate that just because we can travel doesn’t mean we have to. If you are starting to lose some of the joy or awe that travel used to inspire then taking a step back may be the best thing. Finding balance in life is key!
As always safe travels on your next trip, whenever it may be 😉.
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I love a honest guy and that’s what u are…..I do enjoy
reading your articles especially this one. ✌️
Thanks Ing – I appreciate the kind words
Thanks for the original article and the follow up. Always interesting. I travel for work, usually to the same group of countries over a couple of years before I switch to a new set. The first few times I look forward to the trip, then I try to make the flight choice something new, then I just want to get home. I am usually overseas about 10-12 times a year and that makes the two or three trips I take with my family hard to look forward to. This road warrior is getting tired! I can’t really limit work (other than trying to focus on countries that are “closer” to home) so I’ve started limiting vacations to one trip to see family and one “fun/beach” trip a year. The rest we drive to campgrounds or local stuff that takes the stress off me and let’s me get a break from airports. It is a blessing to see amazing new countries and I try to remember that but balance it with the blessing that is my family, home and friends.
That is a great outlook Lara. I am hoping to get back to where you are now 🙂
I did not take your post as a brag at all. But that may be because I travel a lot as well. Personally, I have stopped posting anything about my travels on Facebook because invariably some of my “friends” feel that it is a brag. My Facebook posts are meant to be clever and/or funny and not a brag, but some people just don’t get that. Anyway, I know exactly what you are experiencing. I hope your future includes even more travel than now … and I wish the same for me as well. Cheers.
I am with you 100% on the Facebook thing Scott. I love sharing our adventures on there but I do feel like most people that are not in the hobby take it as bragging. But miles and points people take it for what it is. A very interesting dynamic for sure and it is tough to walk that tightrope sometimes.
And remember what Ali said “Its not bragging if you can do it” 😉
I’d just like to echo was George said above as well. I wish I’d commented earlier, and both this and the Maldives post really resonated with me, so much so I shared them with my partner because you articulated it so much better than I could and I wanted him to understand where I’m usually coming from. Thanks again and so glad I found this site.
Thank you Heather – that is awesome that you shared it with your partner. Comments like this are what keeps us going 🙂
I very much enjoyed yesterday’s post, and wish I’d commented on it while it was still hot (wait a couple days before a follow-up, will ya? :-P). As an “outsider” in this space, I’m with you 100%, as I was on the Maldives post. Introspection is extremely important, even more so when your job is so taxing – or your hobby so costly. And I truly appreciate you putting yourself out there, we all could use a reality check in a while. So I say, “Keep ’em coming!”
Thanks George – much appreciated!
Just to clarify, I was calling myself an outsider, not Mark. The point was that you don’t have to share a lifestyle to share a sentiment.
I followed you George 🙂
I enjoy your posts and saw yesterday’s post as someone in a self reflecting process while taking a honest look at his life, family and hobbies/habits/enjoyments. We call that in my kind of therapy I practice as “Doing the work”.
I didn’t think you were bragging but we who travel and are in this game are privileged to do what we do. As a person whose career has been in substance abuse addiction services you are being overly critical of yourself. Addiction affects a person occupationally, physical/emotional health, family, relationships, and spiritually (and not in a religious meaning). You seem like the rest of us, you put things off, oh well, how disappointing it can be not to be perfect.
I too have half a dozen trips rattling around in my brain at any given time. At times feeling, I am exhausted (every 2 months I travel), exhilarated by the planning and the feeling of self confidence that I can be dropped anywhere on the planet and know I will be ok.
The one thing, I am grateful that i don’t suffer from is FOMO. I read a quote a long time ago that I love (I think Rick Steves) that said “Never travel like you’re not going back”. I am a city boy from the concrete jungle of Brooklyn, an avid History geek, so it’s ruins, castles, cathedrals and ancient civilizations for me. So I see what I see and what I miss I’ll either be back or onto something else.
Sorry for the long winded post, but keep up the good work..
Great comment Giovanni and the Never travel like you’re not going back is now one of my favorite quotes. So much truth in it – I love it!
Mark,
I can truly say that you are one of the more genuine, gentle, humble souls that so bravely shares personal things that expose you to senseless attacks.’It is a well thought out, honest piece cast out on this bizarre schoolyard called cyberspace, populated by good people and some warped souls who use their anonymity to bully and snipe senselessly.
Again, thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work.
I always get a smile on my face when I see in my email I have a comment from you doc! Thanks as always for the great comment and the kind words.
I understood the post completely! Even with the kids out of the nest and us firmly into retirement, I don’t wanna be travelling all the time! BUT, if I don’t have at least a couple of trips planned, I am just itching to jump on the next great deal!
Thanks William – not having something planned is almost like torture.
No problems here! I totally understood the point of your original post. Funny about the driving thing. I guess you are opening yourself up for public view when you write a blog. So thank you for your honesty.
Thanks Nathan – I wasn’t sure where it was coming from but a few people said it so I thought it was best to clarify 🙂
Yes I’ve just grappled with the “just because you could” aspect. I got caught up in the Virgin Atlantic ANA first class redemption hysteria and finally forced myself to admit that going back to Japan is really not in my next top 10 priorities. So cancelled the flight. Vowed to try to avoid similar issues in future. Hope I can follow through!
I think that is a great way to look at things Kate. Is this in my top 5-10 trips etc. Just because it is a great deal doesn’t mean it is a great deal for everyone etc.