From the Editor
Over two decades ago at the ripe old age of 16 I started a new job. At the time I was largely supporting myself and needed a better job to help pay the bills. My brothers both worked at IHOP and the server job they helped me get paid more than double what I made working in the arcade at MGM Grand.
After I was hired, the manager asked me to do her a favor. Would I work as a host to help them fill in on a holiday before I started in my normal role as a server. Of course I agreed and that is the day I met her. That was the day I met Jasmine.
My wife of almost 20 years is a very short and loud Mexican woman. She has dark skin and most often a silly smile. It was that smile that caught my attention that first day. I definitely had a crush, but to be honest I don’t think she even noticed I was there. 🙂
But alas I tried hard and won her over. We were a couple! I remember one day a few months into our courtship a customer called me over to his table. He had overheard Jasmine and a bus boy speaking Spanish in the kitchen and made a racist comment to me about it. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I shrugged it off. I have carried the guilt of not saying something ever since.
As many long time readers of the site probably know Jasmine and I eventually had a little boy. We were very young when he was born, but we embraced our new role and our new family. For a long time I saw Shawn Reece as just my son. He wasn’t the son of a light skinned Jewish man and a dark skinned Mexican woman. He was just Shawn Reece.
Despite my Jewish heritage I will openly admit I don’t think I experienced any true discrimination as a child or even as a young adult. What a privilege. The first time I noticed anything was years into my marriage when we began traveling. In 2007 we spent three months going around the United States and suddenly our Vegas semi-normal mixed marriage wasn’t so normal anymore.
We have since traveled to well over 50 countries as a family with mixed results when it comes to racism. Shawn Reece also grew from a little boy to a big brown man. And when he got to a certain age we had to have a talk. A talk about how he couldn’t wear hoodies on the street and about exactly how he should talk to the police, etc. The “this is how you keep yourself from getting killed” talk. I’m crying just typing out that sentence.
AND THAT’S WHY WE DIDN’T HAVE A PODCAST THIS WEEK. We were filled with sadness and felt it was better to just listen. We are tired of watching black people get killed. Maybe our silence could be a small reminder that BLACK LIVES MATTER. We support the peaceful protesters and pray for meaningful change to come out of this. We all can do so much better.
If you are going to unsubscribe because of that statement or otherwise leave a hateful comment then take a long look in the mirror. A really really long look. I’m heartbroken for the police officer in my community who sits in the ICU and for every single person hurt or killed in the protests. I’ll also never forget the sound of George Floyd calling for his mama. I’m so full of sadness.
And so I’ll pray, listen and do whatever I can to help everyone realize that Black Lives Matter. I’ll try to be a better voice for meaningful change and I hope you will too.
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Thanks for sharing your heart, Shawn. You’re a good man and friend.
Anyone who wants to unsubscribe, good riddance. Highlighting what people of color deal with doesn’t diminish the accomplishments of others. I really don’t understand why people become offended by this. They simply want equal treatment in whatever the context. Perhaps it boils down to an insecurity in oneself and the desire to keep others down to help prop themselves up.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and they were interviewing a black man who also runs his own podcast. The one thing that really got under his skin was how when someone says black lives matter they retort with “but all lives matter.” His point is that of course all lives matter, the problem is as black (and brown people) we cannot even get to the point of all lives matter because we’re still struggling with black lives mattering. Another example I read online was if someone is grieving their recently passed child and speaking at a funeral and says “he was a great kid” and someone stands up and says “all kids are great kids!.”
We can – and should – raise awareness of this issue and I can only hope we have MAJOR reform when it comes to selecting, training and penalizing officers. The good apples (and there are a lot of them) will only shine further and I highly doubt they’d disagree with the need for systematic change.
Thanks for sharing your opinion. I’ll pray one day you’ll have the ability to look beyond your own biases to seek out an understanding of others.
Calling me racist against white people or saying we are being anything but inclusive is both your right and reminds me of that part where I say to take a long long look in the mirror.
I don’t disagree about the police being too aggressive across the board but that doesn’t take away from this movement nor does it take away hundreds of years of inequality.
Thanks again for your opinion. If you seek to see a better world where you aren’t being attacked for being white it’s right in front of you. I don’t see any white racism. I see people coming together to focus on an issue that needs focusing on. Black Lives Matter John. It’s true whether you believe it or not. This isn’t about you nor is it about me.
Have a great day.
Great article Shawn! Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for this and telling us your story. You have a member for life.
Thanks for sharing your story; it’s always interesting to hear how people met their spouse. My 2 cents – I’ve had the talk with my two sons before. I’m non-white but even if I were white, I think it would be prudent since the majority of police killings are against white people. Excessive force by police isn’t always a race issue. Despite common sentiment, I think racism in the US has significantly diminished over the past several decades. But in the age of social media and cellphone videos – everything gets amplified. Lastly, some people don’t support the BLM movement – not because we hate black people but because we have honest disagreements on how the country should move forward to get to a post-racial society. I believe BLM accentuates racial divisions instead of emphasizing our common humanity. A man was tragically killed by police in Minneapolis. I don’t think it would have been any more or less tragic if his skin tone was different.
Thanks for sharing your opinion in a respectful way. We don’t all have to agree but if we can engage and discuss our thoughts in a healthy way we can all grow and learn.
We have a long way to go to get to a post racial world and this is an opportunity to pressure for many of the reforms that will help slowly get us there.
Thanks again for the respectful comment and for sharing your opinion.
Powerful stuff and thank you for sharing so much of yourself Shawn.
Thank you Shawn for this post, I am new to this group and I really enjoy this group (I wish I found this group first). Watching the news everyday has gave me many mix feelings, I was raise in the south and this is a common thing to talk about with children in grade school. My dad March on Washington with Dr King and use to do restaurant sit in. So I am thankful I can go to a restaurant I choose to go, because he made a choice to fight back. So when I had run in with police I was fortunate to have a father to explain and teach me what to do when those situation happens. But I just want to share that I love this website and podcast because you all are family men and great dad to your children. Thank you again and I can’t wait to meet you and your team one Day!!!
Great post, thanks for sharing.
Shawn, Thank you for your openness, and most importantly your kind heart. Not only am I an avid reader, but I am honored to call you a friend as well. Keep doing what you do – there’s a reason you are so well respected in this community, and I’m sure in your home community as well.
Shawn, as a black man I can totally understand and relate to the sentiment of your message, thank you for sharing it.
As a younger black man I can openly admit that I haven’t had the same experiences of some of those with similar skin tone. I have been treated poorly by those of the opposite skin tone but if I am to be honest, I believe these people would have been rude and cruel to just about anyone, so I didn’t take personal.
There has been very small instances of slide remarks made about myself, and at times my wife as well. I’m married to an Asian woman, my best friend, the love of my life, and while not as uncommon as it used to be, it’s still fairly rare to see such a mix.
However, because my experience hasn’t been exactly that of those who are black and have had unfair shakes with the law and even those who don’t wear a badge, it doesn’t silence their voice nor does it make me turn and look the other way. While I haven’t had such a horrible experience, I’m still a black man, and such is still a possibility.
I’ve always enjoyed your perspective as it relates to the hobby of travel, but I have an even greater respect for you as your sharing of your personal feeling on such a controversial issue as it takes courage that others may not have. Knowing the potential foolish, mean, and/or rude comments that could possibly follow, it didn’t stop you from writing and for that I have so much appreciation and respect for you.
You are stand-up guy Shawn.
#StayClassy
Thanks for sharing your perspective and for the kind words.
Of all your posts, it’s this one and the post after the Vegas shootings which resonate the most. Everything we do in life should be with the goal of improving the lives for the next generation. Systemic racism and senseless acts of violence have pushed this country to the brink. Thank you Shawn.
Thanks Henry!
Thank you for speaking out Shawn. #BlackLivesMatter
Shawn, this is why I look up to you and Joe. I’m grateful that you used your voices to share your personal experiences and to speak for what’s right. We all protest and speak out in our own ways, but I’m disappointed that others in the points and travel community (The Frequent Miler, notably) haven’t even acknowledged that problems continue in our society. We are lucky to see the world, experience cultures and share experiences with our loved ones. If you fear that folks or sponsors might unfollow you, are you sure you wanted their support in the first place? Thanks to folks like you and Joe. I am proud to support Miles to Memories because I know for a fact that your hearts are in the right place. Thank you for always doing the right thing.
Thanks for the kind words and for your support. I’m hoping we don’t lose any readers or sponsors but as you say if that happens then so be it.
Nice post.
Wait…U saying your future wife saw you and already knew u just did not have what it takes to be a server! Smart woman…still remember you trying to serve Korean soup man long time ago in Ann Arbor! Lol
Tell yr kid to Vote and…vote often!
There definitely wasn’t social distancing going on at that table.
Writing to thank you for sharing your story and to stand in support with you, as we did when we held BLM signs – written in English and Hebrew! – at the demonstration we went to in our city. Stay safe and well!
Thanks E!
Your post made me cry, too. It’s so sad that there is a need to have these kinds of conversations with our children. I hope we can all learn to listen and support all members of our community a little (or a lot!) more.
Thank you for speaking out on this
Thank you for speaking out!
Tim and I have said “Shawn is a good man” many times to one another. Thank you for this post. We are proud to call you a friend.
Thanks Amy! I feel blessed to consider both of you friends as well.